Updated: Jul 12
Whether you are returning from a spending hiatus, or your brand new to the Findom community, there is no doubt you find it sexy to be commanded to spend money and even hotter to follow through on that instruction.
This basic guide will help prepare you for the sending and spending that is required to truly please your Dominant as well as the psyche behind it.
So what is the key to Findom?
In Financial Domination one relinquishes power through money and gifts as there ultimate act of submission, this is true for those being instructed to surrender assets as much as for those who are just itching to give it. Gifting you the luxuries in life they know you not only deserve but that they want you to have. A finsub in short perks up at the idea of paying others.
You are not a finsub because you sent $5 and think you deserve content/attention/ANYTHING and that is the same for someone who sends $100 like a year ago and thinks time even now should be catered to you. In other words the joy emerges from the buying and not from the having or even getting. In my opinion subspace stems from the ontological purchasing behavior and the declaration of subjectivity by expressing non-rational buying decisions for the pure sake of satisfying your Findom and not much more.
Consenting subs are awarded instant gratification when they send with a click of a button. In financial domination, this predominant paradigm is ultimately sexualized. But the subject is a narrative of obedience, where he has to choose between sexual fulfillment of the self and the obvious more important desire of serving the insatiable greed and fulfillment of his Findom. This further increases the power of the Domme and puts the submissive into a hyper addictive state of mind "I spend therefore I am spending' or 'I work to spend therefore I am a work pig' that creates a cycle of devotion like no other.
Of course, you can pay for sessions from a Domme. You can even subscribe/buy content from a Domme fan site if they sell any, or have a subscription service like I do Here. You can be a wonderful customer that is respectful and eager to pay for stuff to cum to... but that is not being a finsub, however. That is simply being a decent customer/fetishist.
True and pure finsubs send and find pleasuring in sending, that's it.
The guide to being a good finsub is simple.
1. Remember your place : When you decide you need to submit to a Domme with your finances, you have to understand that you are SUBMITTING to someone else. Manipulating your Domme into catering to your interests, holding money over her head to get what you want, negging someone to get a free response out of them, or being otherwise uncouth is not an option. It is not acceptable for you to try and top from the bottom. In fact if this is you maybe don't call yourself submissive to begin with, to me this behavior comes from the 'fake sub' or the lion who likes to wear sheep's clothing.
2. Know your budget : A sub does not need to be filthy rich to participate in Findom (though it is definitely preferred). As a consenting adult you are expected to be responsible and conscious of your decisions. Trust me when I say not doing so may lead to a feelings of sub drop, or even regret because you’ve spent well out of your bounds. For subs that wish to be in a long-term D/s relationship with Me, I insist on knowing their budget from the very beginning in My sub application. Ascertaining one’s budget is sexy and fun for Me to help with vetting and to figure out how compatible we may or may not be, and if we are how I can best establish a new dynamic that will be pleasant for the both of U/us. You can find the application (and apply if you’re interested) HERE!
3. Act like the Wallet you are! : To approach as a finsub and then not act like one would mean you chose to lie to your Superior. All aspects of BDSM are built on trust, this is no different. If you feel you need to lie to be awarded the attention you think you deserve in the findom community, you most certainly do not have a place here. If your dreams and desires are to be a useful and maybe one day owned finsub, do not be surprised when you are treated as one and thus held to the simple standards of one. If you aren’t eager to spend to make Me happy, you aren’t fit to be a finsub of Mine. Of course, fetishists and submissive that are not finsubs are validated. Findom like any BDSM play should only be conducted between consenting adults. I enjoy fetishists when they behave, however, feeling entitled to the time of the Superior you serve solely because you did what you were supposed to do will typically lead to a bad end to your D/s relationship.
4. Spend more than you speak : One of the most annoying things that a finsub can do is maintain the 'same budget' for too long. Inflation happens everywhere. We very much like it when finsubs pay more than they speak and naturally bump themselves up because it shows that they are more invested in Us than they are in themselves. Making extra sacrifices that wouldn't ordinarily happen are a true honor for us to be a part of, and something most finsubs strive to achieve. Afterall you were given the ultimate privilege of being able to submit so lets see you act like it. YOU came to a Findom because YOU wanted to spend on THEM. Staying comfortable or stagnant for too long puts you at risk of essentially overstaying your welcome in a Findoms space. There is also a very sexy, mysterious vibe to subs sending anonymously. I don’t have to know who they are because what’s important is they know what I want and are happy to provide it!
5. Be grateful for the opportunity : Your Dominant has created a safe space for you (either in person as a human ATM or online) A Domme puts in a lot of hard work to ensure their clients have a fun and exhilarating experience so show your appreciation with a bonus gift. Remember, it's called a costume request NOT a costume demand. when a Domme graciously accepts your costume requests you should be doing cartwheels at super sonic speed in your living room and then ordering the outfit at YOUR expense. If you have been fortunate enough to have experienced a Findom worship session then you should greatly appreciate the time and the preparation that goes into that session. Not every Domme allows their submissive to release in sessions. So if your Domme has graciously allowed you to cum then consider yourself to be a lucky all cummed out submissive.
5 Steps to Being a Useful Finsub
1. Remember your Place
2. Know your budget
3. Act like the wallet you are!
4. Spend more than you speak
5. Be grateful
If this guide helped you, make sure you send something nice for Me and binge on My sexy fetish and Findom clips here: